Anything from current events, campaign finance reform, sports (especially baseball), corporate/political/legal ethics, pop culture, confessions of a recovering comic book addict, and probably some overly indulgent discourses about my 3-year old daughter. E-Mail: sardonicviews -at- sbcglobal.net
 
 
   
 
   
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Thursday, October 10, 2002
 

Make it Stop!!!!!

And I thought a movie version of Starsky & Hutch was nearing the end. This is getting ridiculous.

Plans are under way in Hollywood for a movie version of "Dallas," one of the most successful series in TV history.

According to a report in Daily Variety, Dave Jacobs -- who created the long-running prime-time soap opera -- will produce the project, along with Michael Costigan, former Sony Pictures Entertainment executive vice president.

Jacobs told the paper he plans to recruit a new cast for the movie.

"We've got a new take on it," he said. "It's a much bigger canvas today and it belongs up on the big screen. Before people would have been interested in who is screwing each other. Now it's the national crimes that are affecting everyone."

How long until "Falcon Crest, the Movie"? or "Maude"? I figure that we're about 10 years away from a movie version of "90210."
 

Kicking the Dead Dog

Now that the Free Times is no more and Scene is the only alt game in Cleveland area, the chance to blast it one more time was too great to resist

It is, of course, bad form to dance on the grave of another. Politeness dictates the deceased be lionized, that we lament The Loss of an Important Community Asset.

Yet honesty runs by a less civilized code. And truth be told, the Free Times' death wasn't unexpected or sudden. It was long, slow suicide.

The paper began as a City Hall watchdog and house organ for people who brag about how much they recycle. Its coverage was always uneven, and it lost more fights than it won, but such is the life of a scrapper. So long as you swing hard and take a good punch, there's no honor lost.

Yet the Free Times collapsed the same way a lot of businesses do these days. Instead of embracing the hard work incumbent in building a sound business, management decided it was a lot easier to simply look like one.

On the outside, the paper positioned itself as the trumpet of lefty virtue. On the inside, it paid half-assed wages, suffered ever-running labor tumult, and did its best to suppress a union drive.

The Free Times's final editor is mocked and it makes some of the points I made last week. A bit of a sore winner. May not bode well for the future.
 

Restraint of Trade

I have no interest in getting a tattoo. It never did anything for me, and I just can't think of anything I want permanently etched on my body. I don't, however, have anything against anyone who wants to get a tattoo. The city of Cleveland, however, apparently does.
 

Einhorn Trial Update

You know your legal defense is not going well when the jurors, prosecutor, and even the defendant start snickering at a defense witness.

It was clear her testimony had missed the mark.

Several jurors burst into laughter as she rambled on. One juror even turned her back to the witness stand in an effort to hide her giggles from McComb.

During cross-examination, Rosen once lost his composure and was forced to question McComb through stifled laughter.

Even Einhorn, the conspiracy king himself, began laughing and shaking his head in disbelief.

Here's a pretty good column about how Einhorn missed his chance at a lesser sentence/political martyrdom/celebrity status if he had not fled to France in 1981.

Einhorn is supposed to take the stand tomorrow. Stay tuned.
 

Other Ones Tour Announced

Whoo-Hoo! The Other Ones finally made their tour announcement Tickets go on sale for all locations on October 12. Here are the tour dates.

AAIIIEEEEE!!!!!!

The Cleveland show is the day before Thanksgiving. Odds are we'll be heading down to Zanesville that evening.

Wednesday, October 09, 2002
 

Withdrawal Symptoms

Is anyone else feeling a little unnerved by the fact that Instapundit hasn't published anything in over 24 hours.
 

Einhorn's Defense?

I haven't followed the Ira Einhorn re-re-(re-?)trial that closely, but the defense is now presenting it's case. First thought, "This is the best the defense can do?"

A woman who once had a fling with Ira Einhorn and who claims to have psychic abilities testified today that she feared for the safety of the former hippie guru and the girlfriend he is accused of killing because of research Einhorn was conducting into "psychic warfare."

Anne Cavers testified on the first day of the defense's case that she first met Einhorn at a conference at Harvard University on parapsychology and soon developed an intimate relationship with him...

"I told him that he was in great danger and I thought Holly was in danger," she recalled, saying that she believed Einhorn and other paranormal researchers from the Harvard conference were being followed; she did not stipulate by whom. Several jurors appeared to snicker as she testified.
...
Einhorn is charged with bludgeoning Maddux in September 1977 because she wanted to break up with him. Her mummified corpse was found in a steamer trunk in his closet 18 months after he said she went to the store and never returned.

Outside court, Cavers said that Einhorn and others researching psychic warfare and other paranormal concepts made them all "a target."

"He was the perfect person to frame ... to take him out of the loop" and Maddux was "the perfect person to shake down ... because of their relationship," Cavers said. She added that she was afraid for her safety to testify but only did so because she was "positively convinced of his innocence."

Einhorn, 62, likely will take the stand tomorrow and testify that the CIA killed Maddux and framed him for the murder because of his secret mind-control research.

Then: Oh, boy, the black helicopter freaks are going to be all over this:

With the trial shifting to the defense today, Einhorn will argue that he was framed for the beating death of Holly Maddux because he knew too much about secret mind-control weapons. Einhorn has maintained that unknown persons put a trunk with Maddux's mummified body in his closet, resulting in his arrest in 1979.

"He thinks he stepped on toes in doing this mind-control research and paranormal, psychological research," said William Cannon, Einhorn's lawyer.
...
In a nine-page, handwritten essay that Einhorn wrote last month - titled "A Snapshot of My 70s" - he gives a preview of what's to come when he takes the witness stand, possibly as soon as tomorrow.

He painted himself as "a social change agent, consultant, futurist and learner" who was on the verge of greatness when he was arrested.
...
He portrayed himself as a peripatetic '70s activist, involved in the antiwar movement and black empowerment, as well as investigating the CIA and the heroin trade, UFOs, and President John F. Kennedy's assassination.

But he explained how his trouble began with his exploration into "psychotronic mind-control weaponry." So-called psychotronic weapons, popular in science fiction, allegedly harness telepathic power and radio waves to control and influence people from afar.
...
Einhorn, however, said he believed his life was in danger because of his mind-control research. He said he received reports from inside the Soviet Union about mind-control devices "so chilling that I only shared some of the content, not the actual reports, with two people."

Einhorn also wrote that he had enlisted the former president of the Franklin Institute, Bowen Dees, to work with him on a conference in honor of Nikola Tesla, an inventor and electrical engineer. Einhorn claimed that Tesla worked on mind-control and free-energy devices that created energy without using fuel.

Dees, now retired in Southern California, was surprised to learn of his mention in Einhorn's statement.
...
Einhorn wrote that in the '70s, he also got involved in the "Geller project," a reference to Uri Geller, the spoon-bending psychic. Einhorn said that through this work, he became convinced of the possibility of "free energy devices... that would solve our energy problem."

"Unfortunately, all new technology can be used as weaponry as well as for human benefit," Einhorn wrote. "I was soon up to my ears in a multi-pronged intelligence game that is still waiting to be unravelled."

I wonder if this is being covered live on Court TV. Sure beats the hell out of anything coming from Robert Blake.
 

Anti-Prostitution Fundraising Ordinance

Cincinnati, which has a long, respected tradition of sexual tension Hustler and Mayor Jerry Springer bouncing a check to pay a prostitute versus the historic prudishness of the local government itself has a new plan to crack down on prostitution:

Impound the cars of the men caught soliciting.

City Council is expected today to approve an anti-prostitution ordinances that would let police impound the cars of people who buy sex in Cincinnati.

The plan also would include a “school” for people convicted of hiring prostitutes. In exchange for having their record cleared, they would have to pay to attend a class on the negatives of soliciting prostitutes.

The program also calls for publishing convicted customers' names and pictures.
...
Customers whose cars get impounded would have to pay a $200 fee plus $90 for towing, in addition to $12 every day the car remains in the city's impound lot.

Mr. Crowley said he expects the impoundment to be a money-raiser, the proceeds of which could be spent on advertising the customers' names and pictures. Mr. Crowley, who operates the Mount Adams bar that bears his family name, said he thinks he has the votes for passage.

Given the publishing costs versus the amount they are planning to charge for impounding, it's safe to assume that the emphasis will be on getting lots of extra cash.
 

There's A Reason Everyone Is Linking To This

I know, every friggin' blogger is linking to this Ron Rosenbaum article. There's a reason for that: it's one of the best articles out there detailing why/how the liberal Left has helped to make itself a joke.
 

Some Choice

I've written from time to time about the new minor league baseball team that will be playing some 3 miles from my house (and 20 miles from the Cleveland Indians). Consider this an update.

They have finally chosen a name and logo. The team formerly known as the Red Stixx will now be the Lake County Captains. They have their fancy new Website, where you can see their butt-ugly logo.

Most of the site is still under construction, but they have their ticket info up; not to mention information about companies becoming sponsors.

I'm looking forward to this. I am also curious on some of their business decisions. I watched the Mahoning Valley Scrappers marketing before and during their first year. Very, very well done; and they made going to and being at the ballpark very enjoyable.
 

Another Conspiracy Theory

Even Boondocks has decided to take shots at Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton over their stupid criticisms and censorship calls of Barbershop. Of course, a different conspiracy theory is offered.
 

North Randall, Ohio's Semi-Finest

How do you not notice this?

Four police officers were suspended yesterday for mistakenly placing a man and a woman in the same jail cell - and failing to notice it for seven hours.
...
The gender mix-up began at 2 a.m. Sept. 24, when a Highland Hills patrolman took Marvin D. Willis of Bainbridge Township to the North Randall jail. Willis was stopped for speeding and arrested for concealing a rifle and ammunition in his car, police said.

Viancourt locked Willis in a cell with the jail's only other prisoner, a woman named Erica, Dubsky said. Dubsky declined to release the woman's full name and the reason for her arrest.

Jones and Viancourt thought Erica was "Eric," and along with Brucato and Shuttenburg, failed to notice the error during required hourly inspections.

The pair remained locked up together until breakfast was brought, around 9 a.m.


Now, why wouldn't they give her name or reason for arrest?

Willis and Erica admitted to "attempting to have sex twice," Dubsky said.

Neither could be reached for comment. Willis was released; Erica's status is unknown.

Two thoughts:

1) That kind of gives you an idea of why "Erica" was in jail.

2) Attempted? Twice? I admit to being curious as to why they only attempted.
 

Moron Alert

and potential Darwin Award Canidate:

A Mentor man who tried to burn down a former girlfriend's home inadvertently turned the torch on himself yesterday, police said.

Timothy Grubb, 46, of Lake Shore Blvd., was in critical condition yesterday at MetroHealth Medical Center in Cleveland. Police said he suffered third-degree burns over 85 percent of his body.
...
Grubb went to Prokop's house while she was sleeping and poured gasoline around the base of the stone and wood house and around the detached garage, Doyle said. Police found two large containers of gasoline there. Grubb, who Doyle said was drinking before the incident, apparently spilled some gasoline on himself and set himself ablaze when he tried to light a cigarette.

Tuesday, October 08, 2002
 

Falwell's Next Target

How soon until Jerry Falwell turns his "powerful influence" on yet another "gay" children's character:

Meet SpongeBob SquarePants, the kiddie 'toon that's now apparently bigger than purse-toting Teletubby Tinky Winky among the gay set.

In the vein of Scooby-Doo's Velma, Peanuts' Peppermint Patty, the Powerpuff Girls, Sesame Street's Ernie and Bert and his Winky-ness, Nickelodeon's hugely popular SpongeBob SquarePants is currently commanding It status in the gay community, according to the Wall Street Journal.

Nickelodeon and the show's creator deny any homosexual overtones in the bizarro underwater world of invertebrates, but that hasn't stopped the show from soaking up a large gay following, according to the paper.
 

A Filler Column

Bill Simmons does a "..." column. Some of my faves:

The most enjoyable part of the Yankees' demise? Watching Raul Mondesi coming to the plate in key situations, knowing he wouldn't come through, and better yet, knowing that Yankee fans knew he wouldn't come through.Extremely good times. And no, I'm not bitter about the Red Sox season or anything.

Sadly, sadly true.

All right, on the heels of this "Kristy Swanson in Playboy" thing, can I officially start getting excited about Teri Hatcher's Skinemax potential?

Since he passed on the usage, and I haven't actually seen the issue (honest, honey, I haven't), I guess I can assume there were lots of "Buffy" comments in the pictorial captions. There is no other explanation for taking a pass on such an obvious target.

When a stewardess announces that the in-flight movie is "Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood," then she comes over to ask if you want to spend five dollars for headphones ... I mean, it's okay to swear at her, right?

Yes.

I'm praying for the Panthers to win an NFC wildcard, just for the once-in-a-lifetime chance to wager against Rodney Peete, on the road, in the playoffs. I feel like John Cusack traveling to LA in "The Sure Thing" -- giddy, excited, unable to believe that it's actually happening, hoping that the rug doesn't somehow get pulled out. Seven more wins, Carolina ... come on ... Daddy needs a new pair of shoes ...

Actually, I really wouldn't list this one except for the reference to one of my favorite movies. The Sure Thing is a terribly underrated flick, and it really annoys me that they haven't released it on DVD.
 

Going Through the Motions

Continuing Legal Education (CLE) day. Lawyers in Ohio are required to complete 24 CLE hours every two years. I have to complete about 14 hours before the end of the year. Knocked out 8.5 today learning about Qualified and Simplified Retirement Plans. Not that I actually write anything about retirement benefits or employment law. The average cost per CLE hour is around $25-50. This course, however, was only $15 per hour (since I have to pay for it, and our present budget with the infant, I'm looking for the cheapies [rationalization alert!]). Surprisingly, it was actually more interesting and educational than I thought. Still, it was a long friggin' day spent in a Holiday Inn conference room. Oh, woe is me.
 

Now He's A Terminated, Talentless, Tasteless, Schlock-Jock Schmuck

98 KUPD has now decided to fire the idiot who called Lynn Kile to see if she had a date to the first game of the Diamondbacks-Cardinals series (link via Bill Herbert who was on this matter before me). A quick check of the station's Web site show's that the "Misjudgment" statement is already off the front page; and the schmuck's biography is already off the morning zoo's bio section.

Hmmm. You would almost think it never happened at KUPD.

Monday, October 07, 2002
 

Larry Miller and Punk Rock

New Larry Miller column.

UPDATE: Miller had the wrong band. It was Blink-182, not the Buzzcocks. Correction issued here.
 

Blowing Up the Line

I have my moments of tastelessness. I've whispered bad jokes to friends during a Bris. I've thought some very disgusting things while watching a news report detailing a human tragedy. I have never, though, thought it to be any form of comedy for a cheap, schlock, Howard Stern-wannabe,to call a widow of 3 months to ask if she has a date to a baseball game. (link via Dan Lewis).

This is what Phoenix station 98 KUPD allowed by a member of some lame-ass morning zoo (that they call "Morning Sickness," oh, stop it, the humor is killing me). Of course they have issued an apology a clarification, titled, "Our Misjudgment" (sure to disappear once the furor dies down).

We would like to extend a most sincere apology to everyone who was offended by an error in judgment,

If you weren't offended stop reading. If you were offended, well please understand that the this was a simple mistake in judgment like when a girl who swears she's 18 sleeps with you turns out to be a 13 year-old. That kind of error in judgment.

which was not intended to be hurtful or malicious in any way.

We don't see how calling the hotel room between 5:30 and 10 am of the widow of a pitcher who died of a heart attack at age 33, three whole months ago, to see if she was taking a date to the first playoff game could be considered "hurtful" or "malicious." Clearly, this was purely innocent, harmless, victimless humor. Great material really.

This was not intended to be a ratings stunt nor was it pre-meditated.

Never, never a ratings ploy... at least, not now. Of course no advance thought was given to it. This is just one of those spur of the moment things where the guys were just talking on the air, then one said, "We should call Flynn Kile, I bet she's got a great sense of humor about her dead husband." Then another guy said, "Hey, I just happen to know which hotel she's staying at." Finally a third said, "Well, let's get her on the phone!"

We are truly amazed on how this turned into a media circus

It's all the media's fault. They are the ones blowing a harmless prank out of proportion.

and we deeply regret the turmoil that it caused people all over the country.

You people are overloading our e-mail files with complaints, that we are just bulk deleting. The real problem is that all this attention is driving our server costs way out of proportion for the month from non-local listeners.

Beau Duran would like to personally apologize to the following for the unnecessary grief that this media mishap created;

Media mishap? Beau doesn't actually apologize for being a jackass. Beau doesn't need to apologize for causing the "unnecessary grief," he just apologizes for the unnecessary grief he has to endure for a week's suspension. Beau doesn't believe he did anything wrong, he is the real victim in all of this.

Flynn Kile and her family, Tony LaRussa and the entire St. Louis Cardinals baseball organization, Major League Baseball, and the people of St. Louis and Phoenix, and all listeners of 98 KUPD.

That ought to cover everyone.
 

Release Him Now

One of the dumber Yankee acquisitions this past season was picking up Raul Mondesi in the middle of the year. The Yankees got him by giving up very little in a salary dump by the Toronto Blue Jays. Mondesi made $11 million in 2002 and will make $13 million next year. The Yankees paid the balance of this years salary and will pay around half for next year, with Toronto paying the rest.

I don't want to waste the energy ranting about how lousy, lazy, overrated, anti-clutch Mondesi is; because he isn't worth it. Check his stats. Essentially, after peaking in 1997, he has gotten worse every year.

Next year is the final year of the contract. Even with a good year he would be lucky to get a 2 year deal for more than $3-4 million per -- which is quite a drop and a huge ego hit. Apparently Mondesi knows that and has decided to beat everyone to the punch (maybe), by announcing that he will retire after next season at age 32.

This quote is telling:

"I'll be good after next year," he told the Daily News. "I have enough money, I have my big house, all my cars, a lot of land, money in the bank.
...
"I want to go home young. I don't want to stay all of my life in baseball. At like 37 years old, you feel old. Sore knee and back, ankle."
...
"I love the game, I just kind of feel tired mentally," Mondesi said.

Yeah, that sounds like a guy who loves the game and wants to play. The Yankees can afford it, so they should just release this loser. That, or trade him to Texas or Boston.
 

Yankees Lose

Yes, my beloved Yankees lost to the Anaheim Angels in four. I'll be blunt and simple. The Angels were the better team. They out-pitched, out-hit, out-hustled, and out-played the Yankees. The Angels were a joy to watch. Their enthusiasm, energy and confidence warms the heart of any baseball fan. I almost want them to win the LCS to finally play in the World Series. Almost

I have to root for the Twins. Two reasons.

1) I hate the wild card. Absolutely hate it. It demeans a good regular season playoff race. The idea of a wild card team in the world series causes my teeth to grind. So, sorry Anaheim, I know you have the better record, but you are still the wild card team.

2) I want to see Bud Selig "congratulate" Carl Pohlad (insert obligatory Montgomery Burns reference here) for the "success" of the Twins this year. The pure discomfort and hypocrisy of the moment would be a joy to behold. Catching part of Jim Rome on my way to the office this afternoon, I heard a report that Torii Hunter (or was it Jacque Jones?) poured a bottle of champagne down the back of Pohlad's pants saying, "You needed that."

Sunday, October 06, 2002
 

Just bad choices in men?

Judging by the fact that a number of recent hits have come from searches for information on Dr. Janice Douglas, there is a lot of interest in what the hell would make a highly successful, intelligent and respected doctor, who is considered a "pioneer in hypertension research"; become involved in a fraud scheme -- allegedly. This article offers some thoughts. The lead concept is that she was "unlucky in love" -- though there are some other theories floated: the "system" going after a successful black woman, "Female executive stress syndrome," or perhaps just plain greed and arrogance.

I don't have an answer for this. It is still unclear whether she is guilty of the fraud, since the case is not yet beyond the indictment. I do think that trying to ascribe this to simply choosing losers who take advantage of her -- i.e., the victim -- seems just as degrading. It suggests that a a successful woman can't screw up her own life without outside male influences. Given the falls of so many CEOs in the last year, clearly greed is equal opportunity.

 

 
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